Well, folks, you probably wonder why we haven't updated our blog in so long. Well...the truth is, we are just that boring. So we've decided it's more fun to just live life vicariously through Annie and Lyzzi. Why, they're more fun when they're asleep then we are when we're awake. So all we have to do is make a short post now and then so they can comment. Then we sit back and enjoy life! :)
I do have to thank Lyzzi for sending the glass eye to Annie. Now she looks like a female Mad-eye Moody. I don't think she misses much. Though it does kind of creep me out 'cause I don't know what she can and can't see with that eye. I've been wearing lead underwear just to be safe. And sometimes it startles me when she shouts, "Constant vigilance!" But, you know, I think she's worth it.
21 comments:
Well, it's time I chimed in; I can be a conversation voyeur only so long. Unless I'm being paid. Then I can go on for months. Years, even, I'm sure--if someone would just send me a regular paycheck for it, I'd be happy to found out just how long. But I think we (and by "we", I mean you all, 'cause we already established I was just spying on y'all) were talking about glass eyes.
So here are my ten bits (darned inflation):
--Armed with a fine-tipped paintbrush and a steady hand, write, "If you can read this, you're too close" along the circumference of the iris.
--Or, paint a black-and-white spiral instead of an iris, then give that bad boy a good ol' spin. That'll get passersby crazy dizzy.
--Why go glass? I say, go super ball. You can bounce that sucker while waiting in line at the super market. (Just speaking from experience, elderly women don't appreciate you sifting through their groceries for lost super balls, so always, always, always carry extras.)
--Let's go a step further. Why go eye replacement anyway? Umm, hello, pirates are Aw3s0m3: rock the eye patch, baby!
So, y'know. Those are just a few conceptual ideas I thought I'd toss into the ring. Contact my agent if you need further details or specifications.
I'm really intrigued by the super ball idea. It's perfect for Annie--you know how she loves to play games. I can just see her in the pet supply aisle at the grocery store (one of the less busy aisles) seeing how high she can get that sucker to bounce and how many dog bowls, and litter pans she can get it to ricochet off of before it lands right back in her eye socket.
Wow, Kelly, way to think outside the box! I've been racking my brain for something that wouldn't wilt next to such genius. I have but two humble offerings. (That's two, Annie.)
1. Write on the front of the eye, "Objects in cornea are closer than they appear."
2. The reversible glass eye! On the front is the normal eye. But on the back...take your pick. May I suggest the Alice Cullen werewolf eye, a sideways eye, or writing, "Sleeping, do not disturb."
And, Kelly, was that you or Connor that dropped a trey in Grannie's grocery bag?
lol, I just said it was from experience--I never said it was my experience! I mean, in the chances of all the world, however can that not have happened to someone?? ;P
Hey! FYI ....Meet me over on the you know what... you know when blog... it is getting really crowded around here!!
Annie-
Do you know what I think is really stalker? This "Geoff" guy is now commenting on MY blog. I don't even know him- talk about internet stalker. And, obviously, these people are not familiar with HIPAA laws- the way they are discussing your medical condition willy-nilly around here- I am pretty sure we have a law suit on our hands. If you want to discuss super balls instead of glass eyes that is a private matter between you and your doctor. This is just inappropriate. If you need any legal advice (reading legal papers with only one eye glass or otherwise is difficult) I am always here to help, let me know.
Always, Lyzzi
PS-
I would be happy to meet you elsewhere- I am not exactly held in high esteem around here.
Boy, talk about a passive-aggressive attack from Lyzzi. Gawsh! I didn't want to get into this, but clearly she's feeling left out because I haven't validated her feelings by mentioning her condition. Yes, Lyzzi, I think it's time we talk about your toenail disorder. You just need to get those feelings out in a safe place, so we are here to listen. As a token of our acceptance of you, we now hold you in high esteem. So rub some dirt on it and get over it.
Whoa. Let's back up. First off, I don't think you can legitimately call Geoff a stalker unless you have solid proof that he's found your home on Google Maps and switched into Street View for maximum stalkage potential. (Oh, and by the way, you could really stand to rake those leaves in your front yard--Google Maps Street View doesn't lie...)
And second off...who says my consultants (G.W. Cr---ins, Esq. and K.K. "Whattagal" Cr---ins--names altered due to a pending malpractice suit) and I aren't Ms. Lyon's doctors, hmm? I mean, I can spell "ophthalmology".
Correctly.
Without a dictionary.
So, psh, I think that deserves an honorary title and the right to discuss such private, super-ballatory matters in an closed-format forum.
But I worry about the direction Geoff is going with this validation for Lyzzi being left out of the medical discussion. Where can this lead but the compulsion for her to derive happiness from the concern of others through purposeful illness and injury? Munchausen Syndrome. Is that what we want to promote??
Now to conclude:
--Hi Annie! Happy 2009!
--Hi Geoff and Kim! And Iain!
--Hi Lyzzi--your profile picture is 'dorable! Oh, and I won't tell you I'm Geoff's sister. He might not want that out in the public. So, shhhh.
--Hey--hey, stop that! Why are you changing your domain name? Cut it out--
As far as the whole toenail problem, I think you have me confused with someone else. I get weekly pedicures, which you should know, since you are a stalker... I would not be surprised if our house was pegged on google earth. However, since I am now kind of recognized as a person held in high esteem (not fully apparently...are you mocking me?) i will be nice and reinforce that behavior since it is a successive approximation to the desired target behavior I am going for.
Also, I happen to know that none of you are real doctors... being able to spell does not make you a doctor and I am convinced anyway that most doctors can't spell- which is why they write so sloppy. Furthermore, I won 5th place in my 4th grade spelling bee AND was the math mad minute all-time champion in 3rd grade (the teachers still talk about how good I was all these years later) so if anyone here is qualified to "diagnose" Annie and her eye (and other) medical problems- it is me and I have yet to be faxed any HIPAA forms from Annie giving me permission to discuss any of her glass eye (or other) medical problems. Until then, please kindly allow Annie and I our privacy. I mean, here we are, thinking this is a private conversation and all of these other people are chiming in spelling words that frankly should not be mentioned without the proper forms.
Regards.
Annie-
Everything is okay. Your eye seems to be doing nicely. Thank you for the kind inquiry about my children- they are doing well. Tucker is potty trained fully at home- other places... well he pooped his pants at my friends house because he didn't like her toilet. We may need to bring our toilet everywhere we go- which may or may not be a problem. I find out Thursday what I am having. WOOHOO. Also, Annie, if you ever get discouraged, or are having a bad day please remember that once you were the strongest, the fastest, the best sperm and you beat out all those other sperm so don't feel bad. You were the best then and are the best now~ glass eye or not!
Love Always,
Peedra Carnation
lol! Okay, okay, you confounded me on the whole doctors-can't-spell thing. And all these years I thought that honorary degree meant somethin', y'know??
As for finding out what you're having...our fingers are crossed for a baby! Go get 'em, Tiger!
And one last point, I've never actually heard a when-you-were-a-sperm pep talk. Absolutely classic!
Well, we aren't actually sure they can't spell. It just seems they never really got high marks in penmanship... doesn't that mean they are hiding something? I see a lot of doctors, I mean just for the toenail problem alone. They can't spell- why else would they write the way they do?
Munchausen Syndrome, why didn't I see that. I mean, really, Lyzzi, how often have you been to the doctor's office in the past few months? Just for your toenails alone?
As for Annie's glass eye, I've been trying to keep quiet about this, but you've pushed the issue until I'm forced to speak up. Annie actually signed a document giving me power of attorney for ophthalmology. So I don't think I've overstepped my bounds here.
And I don't know why you think I'm stalking you. I would never do that. Oh, and before I forget, there's a recall on the tail light wiring harness in your car. You better get that taken care of. And how do you feed your kids lunch on Sunday, anyway? Bag lunch, or do you fix something hot in the church kitchen? ttfn
You really are a stalker. I am scared. My tail light is out and we have after church meetings until at least 5 or 6pm every Sunday- I know I didn't blog about that because I don't talk about "church" stuff on my blog. I do feed my kids at church out of a sack lunch and have heated food up in the kitchen- you are the ULTIMATE stalker. Where is the hidden camera?
AND. I do go to the doctor a lot. I don't know if Annie told you but I am kind of a hypochondriac. Tomorrow alone I have 2, yes 2 doctors appointments.
Actually, I am opposite of hypochondriac- which is why my doctors always make me come in... unless they are part of your scheme. Maybe I will cancel my appointments. I can't trust anyone anymore. How did you know about my tail light? Do you even know what kind of car I drive? Was that a lucky guess?
please update. some pictures or something would be nice. annie. what happened to you? are they holding you against your will? where are you?
i don't even know these people. annie, are you okay? they can't be trusted- they are really stalkers... did you see what they said about the meals after church and the tail light? RUN!
I've been trying to think of something intelligent to add to this to maybe join the list of blogs by people you hold in high esteem, but I draw a blank. So instead I will say this: How was your Christmas? Anything exciting? Pictures? Ours was good, quiet, but good. My cousins on my dad's side were snowed in, so they didn't get to come for Christmas Eve like we usually do, but my aunt and uncle made it the day after for a quick visit. I've started my second semester and so far so good. I know I haven't updated my blog in a very long time, but I hope to do so soon, inbetween the reading I have to do for American Lit, Study of History, and Western Civ. ;) We'll see how soon soon really is. Let me know if you're planning another trip to Weiser with Iain so I can finally meet my cousin. :)
Lyzzi: Did you ever see "The Firm"?
lol
Hey Caitlin, thanks for being brave enough to post a comment. Sounds like you are swamped with homework. That is one thing I do not miss about college. Yes, I will try to update our blog--kind of took a little vacation from it for the last month. And look what happened to it while I was away!!! Iain and I are planning to come to Weiser for Tyler's graduation. We'll definitely see you there!
Sounds great! I can't wait to see you and catch up and meet Iain. He is getting cuter each post! I took after your cue and finally updated my blog-it is a miracle! Can't wait till May!
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